speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
