I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
