my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The air taste purple.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
