Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
