Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
