I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
