I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
