We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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