At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
