I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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