the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
