You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
