would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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