Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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