i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
