You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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