she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
