Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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