I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
