I seem to have left my pride at pride
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Who died my cat blue again?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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