1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
porn star boner night. come get it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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