my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There's always time for handjobs
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
