there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
