You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
