Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize