Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
