My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
