cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
