i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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