just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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