My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
