yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
