So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
whose parrot is this?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
