Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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