i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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