I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Randomize
