She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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