People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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