You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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