i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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