did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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