Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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