Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize