bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
