Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She told me I should be a condom model.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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