so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i think i just lost a toe
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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