plz talk dirty to me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
