You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
