just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize