Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
