I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize