I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
