Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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