her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
