You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize