Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
