Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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